Grab Your Wings They're Putting Gravity on Trial
by holygoof101
Summary: He thought he'd found his path. Turns out all the twists and turns lead him back to the same place. Finn-centric future Finchel one shot.


A/N: So the inspiration for this started out coming from Fall Out Boy's Alone Together. Somewhere in the writing process Synesthesia by Andrew McMahon took over and that's where the title comes from. Read and enjoy and whatnot. If nothing else I've steered you towards music that will enrich your life.

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Riding with Puck instead of bringing his own car to dinner was a mistake. Itleft him riding in the back seat of his mom's car on the way back from a dinner she insisted they have. He's spent plenty of time riding in back seats and it always makes him feel the same way; like a little kid just waiting for the people up front to start speaking in whispers and spelling out words. It doesn't matter if it's his parents, or someone else's parents, or his friends up front it's still like the front seat is this whole other world he's not ready to understand. The thing is that now he realizes that he's a grown and even if he's not sure about this whole grown up business he shouldn't feel that way about back seats anymore. And he really doesn't want to talk about that so he just stays quiet on the drive back.

He barely lets the car come to a start before he fling the door open and literally jumps out. He hugs his mom and Burt outside of his campus apartment building and promises he'll find them as soon as the ceremony tomorrow is over then makes a beeline for the stairs to his apartment. The stairs up to the apartment seem different. Louder maybe since every step he takes seems to echo through the narrow way like they're warning the apartment he's on his way up.

A part of him is afraid his key won't even work when he gets to the door. It's a stupid moment of fear because he knows that they have until the end of the month to move and it's not like they changed the locks in the couple of hours he was gone. But with each echo of his footsteps in the stairwell the fear shows up. Puck's out and about so if his key doesn't work he's screwed. But it does. He knew it would but still he's relieved.

Their apartment is a total disaster. The excuse is that they're packing it up but honestly it's just a mess of pizza boxes and cans left over from finals. It's not a good time for him to deal with the mess or think about actually starting to pack so he blows passed all the mess and into the bathroom because he really has to pee.

He stops to wash his hands afterwards. It's a natural instinct to wash his hands after like everything now. During his junior year there he dated a nursing student that made sure he knew the importance of washing his hands. She gave him this lecture about bacteria and disease and a lot of other gross facts he could have done without knowing ever. They broke up like two days after that. Really it wasn't so much a break up as he just stopped returning her calls because breaking up sucks when you care. But when you don't care that much it's just awkward, not returning calls is just easier. When he's drying his hands off that he gets a good look at himself in the mirror. He can't remember the last time he stared at himself in a mirror. There's something weird about looking at yourself. Like he knows he's changed but he doesn't look that much different than he did high school. But

high school was years ago. It's the past. The distant past now. He shouldn't have let his mom talk him out of going out to celebrate with Puck. She was probably right when she said that she wanted him to actually make it to the ceremony in the morning because he's pretty sure in the morning he's going to have to polite kick some random girl out of his apartment and then drag a still half drunk Puck out of bed. But at least if he'd gone out he wouldn't be staring at his reflection in the mirror wondering where the hell the time went.

He's graduating college. Tomorrow morning he'll walk across a stage and be handed a degree. There's a really four year university that's going to give him a bachelor degree in secondary education with a music minor in the morning. He's the first person in his family to graduate a real college. The first one with a four year degree. He's really proud of that and he understands that tomorrow is a really big deal. It's just... It's just tonight made him feel like a little kid and the longer he stares at his reflection in the mirror the more he realizes that no matter how big a deal tomorrow is not much has changed.

He has a clear opening in the forest of life. But getting a degree only cleared out an open in life's forest. He knows what his degree qualifies him for; he knows what his next move is supposed to be. The same kinds of questions were posed for him after as school. And he knew that what his move was supposed to be. But knowing what you're supposed to and doing it are two completely different things. He knows he has McKinley. He did all of his student teaching there and Mr. Schue has already talked to Principal Figgins about giving him a full time job at the high school. And he's thankful for that because without McKinley and glee club and all that school gave him... Without that he'd still be lost. He's not lost anymore, he's just unsure of his next move. And he's not sure he wants to commit to a job in Lima. He knows his future doesn't end in Lima. It's not the woods passed the clearing a degree gave him that scare him. It's the uncertainty that's hiding amongst the trees passed it.

His internal conversation with himself is interrupted by what he thinks is the sound of a knock on the door. He splash water on his face as he listens to make sure it was a knock on the door he heard. And sure enough the light tapping sound happens again. Maybe they really are coming to evict him since he's graduating. It's not likely but that's what he's thinking so he's going to stay in the bathroom until whoever it is goes away. But whoever it is knocks again, only this time it's louder. Like Puck knocking loud and even if he's moving out soon he really doesn't want to piss off the neighbors. So he figures he should probably let Puck in.

"How did you lose your keys again assho-" He stops midsentence as soon as he swings open the door. "Rachel?" Her name comes out as a question because he honestly wants to make sure it's really her there.

"You got room for one more in there?" She points inside his apartment as she grins then bites her lip in a way that makes his heart pound in his ears as it screams kiss her.

He doesn't kiss her though. He steps away from the door and urges her inside but he doesn't kiss her.

"I know it's late but I'm only in town tonight. I have to leave tomorrow after the ceremony but I couldn't miss your graduation. It's a big deal."

"Yeah." He mumbles as he leans against the front door. It makes sense now why his mom was so adamant he stay home tonight. She must have known. "It is a big deal." He blows out a breath and watches as a she brushes away a piece of hair that had fallen onto her face. His heart starts pounding in his ears again, or maybe it never stopped because it's always done this with he was in her presence. She's smiling at him from the couch but she looks exhausted. Tomorrow doesn't even matter anymore. "Tomorrow is a big deal so is right now," are his last words before he shoots to the sofa and pounces on her.

Their lips meet and it's all passion and skin and heat and chemistry. Clothes get shed, he's not sure how they make it to his bedroom but they do. And the tango continues. No words just actions and movement and feeling. They don't need words because this is a dance they've done time and time again. Afterwards she lays her head on his chest and he half clings to her while she lies with him. These moments between them have developed a pattern over the years that always ends with her leaving. She made it clear she's leaving tomorrow but he's not risking it tonight.

They talk some while they lie in his bed. She tells him how proud of him she is. She talks about New York and how much she loves what she's doing and how she's happy he's going to have the chance to do something he loves for a living. She doesn't ask if he has a job lined up or what his plans for the future are now. And she doesn't ask if she fits into those plans because...

"We've gone back and it's like we're playing pretend. And that's fine for tonight. I think that's what I wanted for tonight. But... Tomorrow you have to join the real world whether you're ready or not. The good thing about that is that tomorrow I'm going back to the real world. Like you said we're endgame. So I'll be there waiting when you get there."

She knows. She always already knows.

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After she's done talk and falls asleep he just lies there watching her sleep. He used to think it was creepy that some people watched others sleep. After the first time she slipped away in the middle of the night on him watching her sleep didn't seem so creepy. It seemed more like an insurance policy that made sure she wouldn't disappear on him. He doesn't sleep. He lays awake and watches her because he knows he wouldn't be able to handle it if she disappeared on him. He closes his eyes and tries to envision his future so he'll have some definite in the morning to tell her. He wants to be able to plot the points on the road map of life and tell her how she fits into each point. He wants to be able to give her a plan because she's always been a part of his plan, even if he has spent some time in denial about that. He wants to be able to give her that. He's wanted to be able to give her that since he was eighteen and they were planning to get married. It's just.. He still can't.

Her breath is warm and humid against his bare skin as she sighs because even in her sleep she still knows. She always knows.

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She leaves in the morning before he gets in the shower. He knows he's going to see her again today, at least for a few minutes. It's just the leaving with things unsettled, he still hates this part even if it is and has always been his fault.

And he was right about have to drag a still drunk Puck out of bed, doesn't mean he feels like dealing with it. Especially not now.

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Telling people to hold their applause until the end of the ceremony is basically pointless. Every other person that walks across the stage is met with the applause and shouts of family and friends that just don't care about rules. His family care about rules, Rachel cares about rules so he expects his walk across the stage to be one of the ones met with silence. Only it's not. As soon as he shakes the Dean's hand and takes his diploma the sound of whistling, clapping and shouting fill the air. He takes a quick glance and she's his mom standing on her chair and Rachel next to her. They're both clapping. The two women he loves the most are clapping against the rules. It makes him feel like he finally did something right.

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Between all the hugging and the pictures he barely gets two minutes to talk to Rachel before she has to leave. His mom and Burt take everyone out for lunch after graduation. It's the exact opposite of the family plus Puck dinner they had the evening before. All the typical post graduation talk he expects ensues. Minus a few details it's the exact same talk that happened after his high school graduation. Talk of how proud everyone is of him. How big a deal it is he got a degree. How proud his dad would be. The conversation doesn't start to make him uncomfortable until it veers towards his plans for the future. Which is also kinda the same talk that took place when he graduated high school because again he's just not sure. And all he can really think of is Rachel. Rachel and how she's probably getting on her plane. While they talk he thinks of Rachel and how she's traveling really fast in the opposite direction to a place that's not in his plans again and it kinda of sucks.

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He decides the best idea for now is to stick around Lima until he finds another job. Thanks to Mr. Schue's help he ends up teaching summer school at McKinley. Summer school for the students is mostly online so the word teaching is a very loose description. Basically he shows up in the library every Friday for a few hours while the students take their tests on the computer and then leave. It's not even close to what he'd envisioned for his first teaching job. He spends the whole summer looking for something else. Applying for jobs all over the country, so maybe he focuses his job hunting area on the East coast but he still applies to programs all over the country and even a couple in other parts of the world.

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He gets accepted into the JET program. He doesn't even remember applying but it's a yearlong contract to teach in Japan. He's pretty unsure at first. So he calls Rachel because she knows. And she has this way of making things clear at times. Times when he's not busy being lost in her. She tries to hide the disappointment in her voice when he tells her the job is in Japan. But disappointment aside she doesn't ask him about moving to New York or if he's looked for jobs close to her. He has looked for jobs close to her he's just not going to tell her that right. She gives him a real answer. Even if the answer is just 'it sounds like a good idea.' He has no other prospects outside of McKinley and nothing keeping him tied down to the states. So maybe Rachel's right and it's a good idea. Plus it seems like the program is pretty selective and lots of people do it so Japan can't suck that bad.

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Japan sucks. Well the country itself doesn't suck. And there's a ton of awesome stuff to see and do that he would never get to see or do otherwise. And even though he hasn't learned that much Japanese (he should probably take those Rosette Stone CDs out of the package) his students are really awesome. They're always asking him to sing and stuff. His whole class could sing Don't Stop Believin after his first week there. But still Japan sucks. It's really lonely. That's something he didn't think about when he signed his contract to teach there for a year. Stupid time differences mean that he's up while everyone he knows is sleeping. That's because everyone he knows, they're all halfway across the world. He tries to keep up with everyone as best he can. His mom calls every Sunday morning, the only time they're schedules kinda sorta line up. Mostly his communication with the rest of the world is done via email. It's just easier for everyone. And he wants it to be easy because even if he misses home he still wants to stay in the know.

So it's thanks to email he knows that Puck is so sexually active he'll probably catch an STI soon, if he hasn't already. He lived with Puck for four years so he's just been waiting for that to happen. He's honestly surprised it hasn't. He knows that Kurt is seeing some new guy. It's a relationship Finn views as really risky since the dude is originally from some place that's really religious so the dude's got an ex wife and a toddler as the product of days playing straight. But Kurt sounds, or reads is most like it, really happy and is planning to move in with this dude and out of the apartment with Santana and Rachel... And then there's Rachel, who also emails him almost daily. Even if she doesn't have much to say. Of course not much to say for Rachel means every email is at least 550 words, usually more. She spares no detail, he knows all about her life these days. He knows how long the commute from the new place in Brooklyn to her theatre is. He knows how many people the theatre holds and a rough idea of how many people show up for the show each night. He knows that she's had to modify her signature into something quick and easy for signing purposes. He knows that the sound guy keeps asking her out no matter how many times she tells him she's in a relationship with her career. That was a piece of information he could have

done without because it makes him really want to punch that sound guy and he promised he was done punching her boyfriends... The sound guy shouldn't count though because he's not her boyfriend and from the tone of her emails he kinda thinks (knows) that guy doesn't have a shot in hell. He really loves that she's keeping him in the know like she wants him to be a full part of her life. Looking forward to her emails everyday becomes routine for him.

He saves her emails for the Friday, after work when he can just sit in his apartment and read them all at once then reply with one big long winded reply that probably could just be boiled down to a few sentences. Because most of his nights are spent eating microwaved food in his tiny apartment. And his apartment is tiny. So tiny he's constantly knocking his own stuff over and his feet hang off the furnished bed. He's too big for Japan and he would never tell anyone this but he can't wait for his contract to be up.

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Despite the loneliness, all the missed calls from home, all the emailing and the sleep deprivation endured just to see a familiar face on his laptop, despite all of that his time in Japan goes by really fast. Before he can take a breath and process, his time in Japan is up and again he's direction-less with a degree. Again.

The difference is this is the first time he's okay with going home to Lima while he figures out his next move because he knows there will be a next move. He doesn't have to figure out his whole life in a moment and he knows that now.

After a year he's leaving Japan with little more than he came with. It's not even enough to have to ship boxes home. It's barely enough to fill two suitcases. But he's never cared too much about material possession so it work take long to pack. And doesn't bother him to stop in the middle of packing because Kurt texts him.

He is slightly disappointed when it's not a text just for him but a mass text of a video message. Kurt is sitting in a park on a blanket urging a spoon of ice cream at a little boy. The boy responses by pushing his spoon at Kurt's mouth and then rubbing the ice cream all over Kurt's face. Kurt just laughs and rubs the ice cream into his skin saying he needed to moisturize anyway before kisses the top of the boy's head and hugs his against his chest. He can't make out what else is being said because the man taking the video is laughing too hard against the speaker. But between the laugh and the look of pride and contentment on Kurt's face as he wipes at the ice cream says that this is a video of Kurt and his family. He's really happy for Kurt and he can't wait to meet the boyfriend and nephew... He's assuming nephew is the right word until Kurt tells him otherwise.

There's an open, slightly packed suitcase sitting at his feet as he sits on the couch and watches the video again because... He feels like he's missing something. And it can't be anything Kurt related because the video kinda says it all, it's just there's this feeling in his gut and in his chest that makes his head keep telling him he's missing something. And on the fourth view he realizes what he's been missing. There's another voice. There's another laugh. The man holding the camera's laugh had been masking it because it was so faint but now it's the only thing he hears. The faint laugh comes creaming through the speaker at him. And he knows the laugh. He would know it anywhere. It's Rachel's laugh. It's Rachel in the background, off camera sharing the moment with them.

It makes his head spin in a whole new direction. He restarts the video for the fifth time. This time he doesn't see Kurt, he doesn't see the little boy and he doesn't hear the man's laughter. Well he does see and hear all of that but this time its Rachel sitting where Kurt should be and a vision of a boy sitting with her. And the laughter coming through too loud, it's his own laughter.

He opens his eyes and releases a breath. Some things never change. He's not 18 anymore but he's still looking for direction. That hasn't changed. He's not 18 anymore but she's still... She's still supposed to be his wife. And that video... That video is supposed to be their future. It's always been there. His direction is staring him in the face, the same way it always has been.

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The sweat on his palms makes it hard to keep a grip on his phone as he tried to read the address back to the cab driver to make sure they're at the right place. He's nervous because this isn't part of what was supposed to happen when he got on the plane home from Japan. The plan was to get off the plane in Lima, Ohio and go to his parents' house. It didn't involve travel passed Lima. The plan didn't involve another flight and a cab ride. It didn't involve listening to his feet echo up the stairs. And it sure as hell didn't involve knocking on a door at four in the morning. But plans change. He knows that as well as anyone. This plan, this plan shouldn't even be happening.

This time is different because... This was always the plan. This time it's different because they won't be just playing pretend. He feels his face form into a half smile as he looks down at the girl with sleepy eyes and a confused smile on her face. It's different as he looks down at Rachel, the girl that was always part of his plan.

"You got room for one more in there?"


End file.
